


Stuck on Ajan Kloss

by ceridwen_2020



Series: Early ideas for a re-imagining of the Rise of Skywalker [8]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, family trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27684691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceridwen_2020/pseuds/ceridwen_2020
Summary: With the Falcon damaged by the First Order, Rey is stuck on Ajan Kloss until it has been fixed. She uses the time to learn about the Sith in preparation for her journey to Exegol and has an interesting conversation with Leia, and Kylo Ren. Meanwhile, Rose and Finn search through a database of stormtrooper information from the First Order to find out more about Finn's background.
Relationships: Finn & Rose Tico, Leia Organa & Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Early ideas for a re-imagining of the Rise of Skywalker [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024378
Kudos: 1





	Stuck on Ajan Kloss

The Falcon limped back to Ajan Kloss; Rey had wanted to press onto Kef Bir but her friends managed to convince her that returning to their base was the priority. Leia needed to be filled in about what had happened, and the Falcon needed urgent repairs. The First Order had already started to strip it apart and it would take a couple of days minimum to fix it.  
‘Sorry,’ Poe said to Rey, when she asked him about the possibility of travel back on Ajan Kloss, ‘we’re grounded here for a few days.’  
‘Aren’t there any other ships?’ Rey wanted to know. There was no reason they had to go in the Falcon.  
‘No, I’ve checked,’ said Poe, pushing her in the direction of the relaxation room, ‘they’re all needed for other missions. So you might as well go and relax. I hate to say this, but you look awful.’  
Annoyed, Rey went to her chamber and stared in the mirror. Poe was right, she did look awful. There were dark smudges under her eyes, a cut on her cheek where a shard of plasteel had caught her on the Steadfast, and painful looking bruises on her arms. Her hair was matted and unwashed, her clothes dirty and torn. There was only one thing for it - first, she had a long shower, letting the warm water run over her and cleanse her. She washed and brushed her hair, and picked out some clean clothes from the small drawer of personal belongings under her bed. Feeling better, she wondered what she should do to relax. It was not something that she did very much, it seemed an alien word.  
Then she saw the book that she had taken from Kylo Ren’s chambers lying on her bed. Picking it up, she felt its significant weight in her hands. It was thick and heavy, smelling of mould and old paper. She ran her hand over the leather binding, feeling its suppleness and softness, wondering how many other hands had done the same.   
Sitting down comfortably on her bed, she opened the book and read the title page. It was a translation of three original Sith texts, collected together in one volume. It had once been in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, there was a warning written on the inside page in elegant, slanting writing: 

Not to be given to any Jedi beneath the status of Master. Consult with Master Yoda and Master Windu in the first instance. 

She had heard of the names in legend and felt a slight thrill in thinking that these two illustrious Jedi Masters might once have consulted this book themselves.  
Going to the index, she saw that the book was arranged in three sections. The first covered the most ancient Sith writings, there was a section on dark side powers, and finally a section on Sith prophecies. A thin, red ribbon had been inserted into the book as a bookmark - she turned to where it had been placed, to find that it marked the section on Sith prophecies. The relevant pages on the dyad had recently been read. It must have been Ben, she could see where he had made notes and underlinings across the pages in small, careful handwriting. Flicking through, she saw her name written next to a diagram of the Sith runes for ‘light’, and he had written his own name ‘Kylo’ next to the Sith runes for dark. There was a fingerprint smudge where he had touched the ink before it had dried. Even this small connection with Ben bought back her emotional confusion. Tears clouded her eyes as she wondered what she could do to make him come round to her way of thinking. That he did not have to turn her to the dark side. Why does he have to be so stubborn?  
Drying her eyes, she put the ribbon back and returned to the earlier sections of the book. For the rest of the day, she pored through the sections, noting down important ideas and themes in Sith ideology and lore. It did not take her long to realise that the ancient Sith texts were, bizarrely, not that different in focus to the ancient Jedi texts. Both embraced balance, the coming together of the light and the dark, although the Jedi placed more emphasis on the light, and the Sith on the dark. It seemed that as time went on, both orders became more and more entrenched in their dogma, coming to believe in an exaggerated version of their foundation legends, which, in turn, created a great schism and rupture in the Force. It made her wonder if the dyad prophecy, from that perspective, represented the Force trying to restore balance through going back to its origins, bringing the light and the dark together in a partnership of two powerful Force users. But how does Palpatine fit into all this?  
It was starting to get dark when there was a knock at the door. ‘Come in!’  
The door opened and Leia poked her head in. ‘I wondered where you were!’ Coming into the room, she closed the door and came over to where Rey was sat on her bed, surrounded by bits of paper and an open book. ‘We missed you at dinner.’  
‘Oh I forgot!’ Rey had not even thought about eating, so absorbed had she been in the book.  
‘What are you reading?’  
‘It’s about the Sith, I thought it might be useful for Exegol.’ Rey moved up on her bed so that Leia could sit comfortably. She showed the General the sections on the Force dyad, explaining both her, and Ben’s, contention that they represented the light and the dark coming together, to find balance in the Force.  
‘You got this from Ben?’  
‘Not exactly.’ She looked sheepish.  
Leia smiled faintly when she saw the notes made by her son. ‘Ben did love to write when he was younger,’ she said, touching the dried ink lightly with her finger, ‘I’m glad there’s still a part of him that likes to do so.’ Closing the book, she handed it back to Rey. ‘What you just said would explain a great many things. Your power in the Force, your connection to Ben. How come I didn’t know about this? It would have helped us greatly when he was younger.’  
‘It’s a Sith prophecy,’ said Rey. ‘The Jedi have the prophecy of the Chosen One.’  
Anakin. ’I didn’t think the Sith believed in balance.’  
‘Neither did I,’ agreed Rey, ‘but finding a balance between the light and the dark was important to both Jedi and Sith once.’  
‘What does Ben think?’  
‘He wants us to work it out together,’ she said, biting her lip, ‘To find balance and belonging in the Force, and with each other.’  
Leia sensed the anxiety in her voice, ‘But?’  
‘He needs to come to the light, I need to go into the dark.’ She paused, feeling the failure of her recent traumatic exchange with Kylo Ren, the anger she still felt. ‘I know what I have to do, Leia, but I can’t. I can’t go any further into the dark than I already have.’ She wiped her eyes, ‘I don’t know what’s happening to me.’ Her voice dropped to a whisper. ‘I’m so afraid.’  
It was an admission of her struggle, and Leia put her arm around the trembling girl. ‘I don’t know how I can advise you. I struggled for years to feel at peace with my heritage… with being a Skywalker and all that entails. I still do.’ Leia sighed and squeezed Rey’s shoulders. ‘All Jedi are tempted by the dark. Luke… Ben… Anakin. Luke told me it’s not about weakness. It’s about the dark giving you something that you need. But it’s an empty promise.’  
Rey nodded, remembering her experience in the cave on Ahch-To. ‘I’m not strong enough.’  
‘But you are,’ said Leia, stroking her dark hair. ‘Strong and brave and courageous. You came from nowhere but you answered the call to destiny that the Force offered you. And remember, you are not alone. You have your friends, you have me and Luke. We will guide you however we can.’  
‘I know and I’m grateful,’ she said, reflecting sadly, ‘It’s more than Ben has.’ She looked at his mother, seeing the same intensity in her dark eyes that she saw in her son. ‘He has no one.’  
‘He has you,’ Leia pointed out. Then she sighed, ‘Ben has always had us, he could have come home at any time. But he chose not to. And I will never understand why.’  
‘I know he feels regret,’ said Rey; she had seen it in his most hidden thoughts, even if he would not admit it to anyone, even her.  
Leia nodded, the pain in her heart still as fresh as the day her son had rejected her. ‘Do you think that Ben could come back to the light?’  
‘Sometimes,’ agreed Rey, ‘when he lets down his guard. But I can’t help thinking that he won’t - that part of him wants me to turn to the dark, to be with him there so he is not alone.’  
‘And the other part?’  
‘He wants to help me.’ She described to Leia their discussions about the dark side, how Ben had helped her to understand what it meant to be consumed by it, as well as the implications of risking everything to increase one’s strength and power.  
‘He’s trying to protect you, in his own way,’ Leia observed, taking Rey’s hand.  
‘I thought so too,’ said Rey softly, ‘but I need to make my own choices.’  
‘Of course you do.’ Leia smiled sadly, ‘Although he would hate me to say it, Ben is very much like his father. Han was always trying to protect me, in his own way. The problem was he always thought he knew what was best for me, when most of the time he just needed to slow down and actually ask me what I wanted.’  
‘Yet you loved each other,’ said Rey quietly.  
‘We did.’ Leia realised that Rey was trying to tell her something difficult - that she cared for Ben more than she could say. ‘You stick to your guns. If Ben cares for you as much as I hope he does, he’ll realise he needs to accept you for who you are.’  
‘And I need to accept him,’ added Rey. Only then would they find true belonging - but that was the most difficult realisation for her to make. How could she accept Ben, who had adopted the ways of the dark side, abandoned his loving family, and given his support to a tyrannical organisation? It was true that he had been manipulated by Palpatine, groomed and abused by Snoke and seduced through Vader’s helmet, but why had he listened to those voices rather than his parents? They offered him something he needed, she found herself thinking - but what had he needed, and why? 

A motionless Kylo Ren stood silently at the large windows of the command centre on the Steadfast, his arms folded behind his back, looking out over the First Order fleet. Behind him, intense activity was taking place as messages came in from around the galaxy, reporting on the current state of occupied systems. But around the Supreme Leader was, surprisingly, an atmosphere of calm and restraint.  
Even Hux could sense it on some basic level. ‘Supreme Leader,’ he said, almost cheerily as he approached the tall, dark-clad figure, ‘I thought you would be pleased to know that we have managed to thwart another raid by the Resistance on the supply station at Sinter Glacier Colony.’  
‘Did you catch the perpetrators?’ Kylo did not look at Hux or change his position.  
‘Unfortunately not, they were alerted to our presence and managed to escape before we had sent enough fighters to the area. But we did execute their contact, an Ovissian named Boolio,’ Hux added, bracing himself for the expected verbal, even physical, assault. ‘He won’t be helping them again.’  
But there was none forthcoming. Kylo Ren only looked slightly distracted, ‘They always manage to escape,’ he murmured, still staring out of the window, ‘it’s almost as if they have a spy in here, telling them when we are coming.’  
Hux looked sharply at him, but it was as if he did not notice.  
‘Double your efforts to find the Resistance base,’ Kylo Ren went on, finally turning to look at Hux. ‘What happened to that lead from Kijimi?’  
‘It led to a dead end,’ said Hux with a frown, ‘as all our leads do.’  
Kylo clenched his fists. ‘I’ll send out the Knights again, see if they can do any better than the vast resources of the First Order.’  
It was a fair criticism and Hux found himself agreeing to stepping up their efforts to infiltrate Resistance networks. ‘There was that informer on Takodana, that might be a good place to start.’  
‘Use whatever resources you need,’ said Kylo Ren, feeling generous towards Hux, the man was trying his best after all; ‘I’ll concentrate on looking for the scavenger.’  
I bet you will, thought Hux to himself. Soon he would have all the information he needed to prove to the rest of the Council that Ren’s interest in the scavenger was not as straightforward as it seemed.

In the central command centre, Rose and Finn were going through the database that they had taken from the First Order. If he was being honest, Finn was enjoying some downtime. It had been a frenetic pace recently and he was feeling exhausted. Fortunately, Rey had not seemed interested in continuing his Jedi training, instead she had her nose stuck in a book, and so he had gone to find Rose, who was much more familiar with databases than he was. For hours, they had been looking closely at the computer screen, the information scrolling slowly so that they could study it carefully. Finn’s eyes were starting to hurt and he rubbed them, wondering if they should give up and call it a day…  
’Here we go!’ said Rose excitedly, stopping the information from scrolling so that she could get a proper look at it. She jabbed her finger at the relevant line, ’Here you are. FN - 2187.’  
His heart in his mouth, Finn leaned in closer to get a better look. ‘What does it say?’  
‘Subject from a healthy family,’ said Rose, reading from the screen, ‘Age: six months, condition: weaned on solids, no known serious illness or disability, part vaccinated. Both parents. Two sisters.  
‘Sisters?’ Finn almost squeaked with pleasure.  
‘Home planet: Hosian Prime…’  
‘Hosian Prime?’ He could not believe it.  
‘Oh Finn, I’m so sorry.’ Rose put her hand on his arm. Once she had thought that there might have been a chance of romance between them, but any feelings that Finn had for her had been fleeting. She knew that he still cared for her, but it was as a friend, nothing more.  
‘There’s no hope of finding them now.’ Feeling crushed, he allowed Rose to comfort him.   
‘Unless they managed to escape,’ said Rose, not wanting to give up hope just yet, ‘or they were off world.’  
‘It’s possible,’ said Finn, ejecting the data stick from the computer terminal, ‘but it’s a long shot. No, I have to get used to the idea that my family isn’t ever coming back. But that’s not to say that I can’t help others to find their families.’  
Rose looked at Finn proudly, she remembered the scared, fearful Finn that she had stopped from taking an escape pod all those years before. Now he was dedicated to helping others. ‘Yeah, we need to come up with a way to broadcast this information to the stormtroopers on a large scale,’ she said, taking the data stick from Finn for safe keeping. ‘We need them to understand just how young they were when they were taken from their families.’  
As Finn nodded in agreement, Poe hurried over. He saw how deflated they both looked but Finn got in first. ’What’s up?’  
‘Good news,’ said Poe, ‘the repairs to the Falcon are almost done. One more night, then we can head off to Kef Bir.’  
‘Good,’ said Finn, ‘I think Rey’s starting to go a bit stir crazy.’  
‘It’s all those books she’s reading,’ Poe noticed that Finn looked a bit shaky, ‘Hey, are you okay?’  
‘Not really.’  
Rose filled him in, ‘We found Finn’s entry on the database but it’s not good news.’  
‘My family came from Hosian Prime,’ said Finn sadly.  
‘That’s rough,’ said Poe, touching his friend on the arm. ‘As if you didn’t need another reason to hate the First Order.’  
‘Yeah, but it is what it is.’ Finn knew that he would only waste his time being melancholy about it - how could he mourn a family that he never knew? And would never know. He had to focus on the future. ‘We need to think about how we can use this information to get those who have been mistreated and abused by the First Order on our side.’

In a quiet room, Rey tried to meditate, opening herself up to the Force to see if it could provide her with any clue as to how she might achieve balance. But nothing was forthcoming, all she felt was an aching emptiness in her soul, as if something was missing. Was it Ben? Her recent interactions with him had been tinged with hostility and conflict, stirred up by the voices and visions the Force imparted to her. Until they could be more honest with each other, unlikely in the current circumstances, she did not know how their fractured relationship could be resolved.  
Frustrated, she tried reaching out to Ben, but although she wondered far and wide through the Force, she could not locate him. Giving up, she reflected that perhaps some exercise might be helpful - tiring out her body could sometimes focus her mind, making it more susceptible to the Force. At the moment she was too distracted - thoughts about the prophecy, about Ben, about the Sith churning around in her mind. She knew she was not yet ready to face Palpatine but time was running out - it was getting closer to the day of Convergence. Rose had been working on the translated message and estimated that it would happen in around fifteen days. But what the Convergence was, and what it meant for the galaxy, was as yet unclear. The only solution was to get to Exegol and find out for herself.  
Grabbing her bag and lightsaber, Rey hurried outside. It was getting dark but there was enough light to still venture into the thick jungles surrounding the Resistance base. She was not technically supposed to head out alone, and usually she took BB8 with her for company, but this time she wanted to be alone. Inside the bag was the book of Sith lore; something in her head told her to take it with her and, in the rush to get outside, she did not stop to think why.  
She started gently, jogging to loosen up her limbs, then graduating to leaping across fallen trunks and chasms, climbing up trees and swinging down vines, all the time increasing her pace as she tapped into the latent energy of the Force. Drawing her lightsaber, she looked for red ribbons that she had tied onto the trees, slashing them as accurately as she could. But then she grew tired and she started to get distracted, missing the ribbons and slicing into the trees instead. Out of sorts, she stumbled over a tree root. Flinging out her hand to stop herself from falling, before she could stop it, a burst of lightning flew from her fingers, blasting into a nearby tree and scorching it along its length.  
Falling to her knees, she stared at her hand, petrified. Then at the tree, scarred with black soot, flames licking at the edges of the burnt area. How had that happened? She remembered dipping into the sections of the book that explored dark side powers, which included the use of Force Lightning, but she did not remember consciously making an effort to learn that skill.   
What is happening to me?  
After making sure that the fire was out and would not endanger the rest of the jungle, Rey returned to base and was finding her way to her chamber when she bumped into Finn in the corridor.   
‘Where have you been? Are you okay?’ he asked, looking at her with concern. She looked pale and tired, not her usual bright self. Her clothes were singed with soot and ragged around the edges, as if burnt.  
‘Not really,’ she sighed, fingering the strap of her bag. ‘I just saw Rose - she told me about your family.’  
‘Yeah. its tough,’ said Finn, thinking that it was the news about his family that had upset her.  
‘I’m so sorry - I know how much you wanted to find them.’  
‘It’s okay,’ he insisted, ‘we’ve got more than enough information to help other troopers find their families, Rose is working on a way to broadcast the information more widely to them.’  
‘Look, you don’t have to come with me to Kef Bir if you need to stay here and work on it,’ she began, but he wasn’t having any of it.  
‘Don’t be silly,’ said Finn, ‘you’re not getting rid of me that easily. Besides, me and Poe want to see the Death Star ruins, it’s not often you get to see such an important piece of history!’  
‘Okay,’ it seemed an unusual reason to come with her but she would accept it.  
‘Now you go and get some sleep - that’s an order!’ Smiling, Finn pushed her in the direction of her room. ‘The Falcon will be ready in the morning.’  
‘Goodnight.’ Rey reached over and kissed him on the cheek. It made her feel better to know that her friends cared about her.  
Once in her room, Rey undressed quickly and got into her pyjamas, Shaking out her hair, she raked her fingers through to get rid of the knots, and then brushed her teeth and went to the toilet. Sitting on her bed, she tried to meditate again but there was too much going on inside her head and she could not focus. Putting out the light, she climbed into bed and tried to get comfortable - the bed was narrow and she only had a thin blanket, but even that was far more than she was used to. Outside, the jungle still teemed with life. For ages she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Just when she thought she would never get to sleep she eventually drifted off…

She was fighting viciously with Kylo Ren - they were surrounded by ocean, the spray flying high into the air as the waves crashed against the promontory they stood on - both of them were soaking wet, their hair plastered to their faces - Rey could feel Kylo’s exhaustion as he swung his volatile, crackling lightsaber towards her - she went to meet it with her own but miscalculated and his blade hit her fingers - she cried out in pain and tried to attack him, but he managed to knock her to the ground - the last thing she remembered was him standing above her, his lightsaber raised to strike…

Gasping for breath, Rey woke up, feeling disorientated and sick. Sweat broke out on her forehead and she had to tell herself to calm down. What did I see? Was Kylo Ren going to kill her? Had he lied to her?  
As she calmed down, and her breathing grew quieter, she became aware of another sound in the room. Someone was crying softly.  
Peering into the darkness she could see a dark shape at the end of her bed. ‘Ben?’  
The figure started and looked round. It was Ben. His eyes were red and swollen, as if he had been crying for some time. She had caught him without his mask on - his emotions were written clearly on his face, naked, real. There was sadness, regret, and aching, aching loneliness.  
Shrugging off the covers, she went and sat beside him. There wasn’t much room on the bed and she was forced to sit very close to him, the familiar feeling of their connection initiating as soon as their bodies touched.  
They sat in silence for a long time, just being together, sharing their bond through the Force. They were light years apart but she could feel the swirl of his emotions as they surrounded him in the Force. She had not thought of their connection as magical before but in many ways it was. If only he wasn’t my enemy, she thought sadly.  
Being near Rey helped Ben to calm down. He wiped his eyes and pulled himself together.  
‘I can’t make sense of anything,’ she said in response to his unasked question, ‘the Sith prophecy, Palpatine returning. Why are we caught up in all this?’  
‘The Sith wanted revenge on the heroes of the Rebellion,’ he said simply. ‘This whole, elaborate plan was to bring down a family, targeting them and their children.’ He looked at her, ‘You got caught up in it because of your connection to me.’ Clearly the Force had seen her as important, a baby born in sad circumstances, her childhood experiences honing her and preparing her, not for darkness, but for optimism, hope, goodness. To bring the light.  
She felt his anger.  
‘All my life I’ve heard voices in my head,’ he went on, ‘I thought they were telling me the truth, that my perspective of the world was wrong. My parents didn’t love me, the Republic was rotten and corrupt, Luke feared me.’ He added softly, ‘But it turns out that it was the voices that were wrong.’  
The revelation finally stirred her compassion for him. All his life, he had a Sith in his ear, pretending to give him support, encouraging him, and steering him along what he had convinced himself to be the right path. He had always been strong in the darkness, as well as in the light, but the Sith had magnified it. It had corrupted their dyad too. They were forced into being enemies when they should have been working together, helping each other from the first time they had met.   
Slowly, tentatively, she leaned across and pressed her lips to his cheek. She tasted the salt of his tears, and in her mind she saw an ocean, the ocean she had seen many times in her dreams, its crashing waves sending spray high up into the air. The same ocean she had dreamt of that night, the terrible dream when he had her at his mercy…  
They looked at each other, sharing the same thoughts, but coming to a different conclusion.  
‘No’ said Rey insistently, ‘I’m going to Exegol.’  
‘You don’t know his power,’ cautioned Ben, ‘he’s manipulated me, my grandfather. Even Luke came close to the edge, although he wouldn’t tell you that.’  
Rey was silent, remembering what Leia said to her earlier. He wants to protect you… Ben wants to protect you. But what did Kylo Ren want?  
‘I won’t let you fall,’ he said softly, unable to hide his feelings for her any longer. Tenderly, he touched the hair that hung around her face, pushing it back behind her ear so that he could see her face more clearly.  
Looking up at him, she was about to gently remind him that he had to let her make her own choices, when there was a sudden, violent knocking on the door.  
Distracted, Rey turned towards the sound, but when she looked back, it was too late, Ben had already gone.  
‘This better be good.’ Annoyed, she got up and opened the door to see Poe standing there.  
‘It’s Leia.’


End file.
